Q:Hey! Just sending you some love and wishing you the best during this weird time. Honestly, I knew nothing about the issues that non-cis people have to deal with and I'm super glad I started following you. You've taught me a lot. Hugs!
Thank you so much! Your support means the world to me right now. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I appreciate this, but I’m awful at communicating my emotions. So instead, I will give you a gif of bunny snuggles. <3
I thought I should post an update for my followers about something that’s going on with me at the moment, considering that it might impact the content and tone of my blog.
I don’t believe I’ve spoken about this before, but in addition to my dysphoria I have an unusual aversion to women and femininity. I feel uncomfortable in groups of women, and I instinctively dislike and distrust women that I don’t know. I realize that these feelings are sexist and generally unfair and awful, but because they are feelings I can’t do anything more than try to ignore them. I do not know where they come from or how to stop them.
My dysphoria is very linked to these feelings. It has tended to be reactionary and narrowly focused on distancing myself from anything that could be labeled woman or feminine. I’ve been trying for a long while to figure out whether the dysphoria stemmed from the aversion to women or if it was the other way around.
Two days ago, my dysphoria vanished, as did any discomfort I felt about appearing feminine or being misgendered as a woman. I believe that this was caused by my recent coming to terms with my body. I’m not certain if this is permanent, or if my dysphoria will return. I’m very scared and confused about this at the moment, because I don’t know how to process it. I don’t know if I’m really trans, or if I’m cis and my dysphoria had other causes. I’ve suspected the latter off and on for a while, but I honestly think I was afraid of admitting that I might be more fucked up than I’m okay with.
I’m going to refrain from any in-depth discussion on trans issues until have this figured out. However, I will still offer advice to anyone who needs it, as being cis would not invalidate the experiences with dysphoria that I have had. And even if I do turn out to be cis, I will continue to be a trans and nonbinary activist, because not being a part of the trans community would in no way diminish how much I care about you all (And you’ll still be able to find me over with the Bs).
Also, if anyone has been through anything similar, or has any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.
nonbinary people who are okay with gendered pronouns/names are still nonbinary and if a nonbinary person tells you they’re okay with gendered pronouns then it’s really not your place to say that their gender identity is less valid because of that, even if you yourself are nonbinary. Gender is different for everyone and there’s no “valid way” to be a certain gender the only validation you need is your own.